So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
