I showed him my bush... on skype.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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