sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
