My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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