he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
