at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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