I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
