My room smells like vodka and shame
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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