bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
