so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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