dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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