People with herpes should wear stickers.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
