What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
