he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
