i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
