Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
