i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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