Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
