the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
