OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
