You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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