dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
