Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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