is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
