New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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