Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Collins89 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

Fav 17 1805 4845
share tweet
(601): View more from Mississippi

We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

Fav 25 5782 1495
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.

Fav 12 2446 967
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back

Fav 8 758 1684
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say

Fav 15 779 1993
share tweet
(985): View more from Louisiana

I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.

Fav 11 897 2304
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.

Fav 1 715 516
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths

Fav 3 850 654
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.

Fav 1 20 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT