i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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