im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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