Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
