What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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