If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
