am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
