I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
