marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
high people should be assigned attendants
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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