We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
