You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
