He uses pillows to masturbate.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
