need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
