She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
