got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
