Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
