I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
