Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
