I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
