Three words: puerto rican gang bang
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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