He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
