They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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