I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
