I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
