i may or may not be watching the land before time
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And then my night got REAL pukey
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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